Poor recruitment and worse timing — Manchester United have been cursed with both since Sir Alex Ferguson rode off into the sunset. Enter INEOS, the chemical kings turned football fixers, determined to scrub away a decade of transfer stains. Since taking charge of football operations, INEOS have splashed out over £400 million on 11 senior players — and for once, it feels like someone actually read the scouting reports before signing the cheques.
According to sources, INEOS’s new data-led approach, combined with good old-fashioned scouting, is finally blending sense with science. The result? A 7/10 average rating across their signings — and that’s not just because one of them happens to be a 23-year-old Belgian goalkeeper who apparently saves everything, including his manager’s job.
INEOS and the End of the Transfer Circus
The biggest surprise? INEOS didn’t buy players just to trend on Twitter. They got Leny Yoro, Matthijs de Ligt, and Noussair Mazraoui — defenders who actually defend. Even their flops (hello, Manuel Ugarte) feel more like honest mistakes than full-blown disasters. Sure, they still love an expensive experiment — looking at you, Benjamin Sesko — but there’s a method to the madness now.
INEOS, bless them, might finally have done the impossible: turned Manchester United into a functioning football club again.
The Author’s Take: Credit Where It’s Due
Let’s be clear — this isn’t perfection. INEOS still fumbled a few transfers (Zirkzee was built like a giant but ran like a poet). Yet, for once, United’s recruitment feels cohesive, structured, even… logical. The mix of analytics and intuition — of spreadsheets and scouts — has brought something rare to Old Trafford: optimism.
According to sources, INEOS’s top brass believe the best is yet to come. And honestly, if this is the beginning, Manchester United fans might want to hold onto their seats — the INEOS era may finally deliver what the Glazers never did: a plan that actually works.
As featured on ManUNews.com
