It’s the end of an era—no, scratch that—it’s the end of the era. Kevin de Bruyne, the man who made threading passes look easier than Sunday brunch, is finally leaving Manchester City. The 33-year-old Belgian magician, known for turning defenders into statues and assists into art, is set to walk away this summer after nearly a decade of brilliance. For a while, Kevin didn’t believe the news either. Honestly, who could blame him?
De Bruyne Gets the Call: Not the Contract
Apparently, one City official had to make a personal phone call to de Bruyne to, well, break up with him. That’s right—a phone call! The sort usually reserved for exes and internet providers. Txiki Begiristain and Pep Guardiola were planning their summer squad facelift, and de Bruyne found himself on the not-so-VIP list. He thought his future at City was his to decide—turns out, the club had other plans.
De Bruyne Faces the Music… and a Montage
Despite the rocky start, Kevin eventually came to terms with his exit. Maybe it was the Etihad farewell party—complete with a highlight reel, gifts, and fans who stayed like it was a Marvel post-credit scene. “It was amazing,” said Kevin, trying not to cry. Us too, Kev. Us too.
Kevin’s Last Dance: Craven Cottage or Bust
Before he rides into the footballing sunset (or perhaps Napoli), there’s still business to handle. Manchester City needs just one point against Fulham to lock down a Champions League spot. “Fulham won’t hand it to us,” said Kevin, who’s clearly not counting his baguettes before they’re baked.
Farewell, de Bruyne: May Your Passes Stay Golden
As Kevin prepares to close the curtain on his City chapter, we remember not just the goals and assists—but the grace, grit, and goofy grin. Manchester City will replace him. But another Kevin? That’s fantasy football.
As featured on ManCityNews.com
